Sore & Bored

No-Blues Tuesday #4

Today was.. weird. I kept my cool until about 30 minutes before my shift ended. It got stressful right at the end and I let myself fill with angst on the drive home. Cried the second I was left alone in the car. I took my amateur adviser’s advise and worked out to let off steam. I’m sore and I feel much better.

I’m struggling with balance, recently. I’ve made a lot of progress with getting things done that I need to but I keep putting off the things I’d like to do because I’m exhausted after work. I need to re-establish my sense of routine. Right now, the only routine I am following is: get your ass to work and back, chill on the weekends – but that isn’t what I want. I’m trying to hustle, so I need to get out of that territory. Work ends but then the real work begins. I’m losing focus. My motivation is still there but I need to rearrange what’s in my hands so they fit more snug and secure. It feels like I’m moving forward at a choppy pace to keep something from escaping my grip. Like an egg on a spoon.

I bought Bo Burnham’s EGGHEAD and am excited to read it. His last few comedy specials really captivated me. He’s an intelligent and witty guy. I like to change up genres when I read. I’m reading a psychology/self-help, at the moment, and will jump to Bo’s book after that. I’m keeping a document of the book’s I read this year since it’s my biggest year for reading and I can tell, already. I have always loved literature and writing but never got into the habit of reading books.. I think I may have just been being lazy because I like them. Books are so open.. part of the fun of the author/reader relationship is the endless possibilities of  interpretation.

Reading takes me out of my head and that’s an important skill to have.

My experiences today are motivating me to read more. I got real caught up.

I learned that letting off steam in the instances I have some is extremely helpful and that getting frazzled over work and letting it bleed into other areas of my life is pointless. I knew that already but I got another reminder. I’m learning all the time. I didn’t get an A+ for my execution of understanding control, but there’s always tomorrow and the next day to try again.

It’s a gorgeous evening – or day – or whatever. I’m grateful.

*with all my honey*

-Elaine

 

 

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