No Chump Hump-Day #5
Today was stressful, but it always ends up perfectly fine. I’m very proud of the accomplishment of not letting my moods get the best of me all day, or for days at a time.
I’m happy to be where I am and heading in the direction I am, though it’s a bit foggy and I’m not 100% sure where it’s leading.. that makes it all the more thrilling. I’m so glad to have a place to write each day, excluding weekends. Now, when I sit down to really write in the forms that get my heart racing and my lips taking fun shapes I’ll, hopefully, find it a bit more natural than when I only write every few weeks, or even months. Everything we do can be seen a muscle. Trainable and capable of gaining strength and memory.
I’m getting intellectually stacked and toned. Slowly and beautifully, I am starting to feel like the person I was meant to be. Positive and full of wonder, again. The more I grow the more I feel in touch with a younger, former self that knew more with less knowledge. Feeling drove me, instincts guided me, I was better at lying on my back in a river, so to speak. It’s easier than kicking around and you still have control with the way you hold your arms out or which rocks you push off of with your feet. I’m floating. It gets cold and uncomfortable sometimes but I certainly don’t want to get out knowing what gorgeous things I could come across while letting the water carry me.
Enough with metaphors, for now.
I have been working very hard to achieve the formation of habits I have admired in others for a long time. I am investing in myself and I have a lot time to make up for since I spent years tearing myself down. I forgive myself. It was hard, but now it’s time to move past that and give myself some love.
I’m very excited to be 21. It’s such a good age to be. I’ll no longer be among the very freshest batch of twentysomethings, though I will still be a newbie to my twenties. Funny how it all goes. I still feel young and I think that will remain the same for quite some time, thank goodness. I’m starting late but not too late. Yes, yes, yes.
*with all my honey*